Editing & Writing Services - John Sims

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Editing (Books, Articles, Stories, etc.)

1)  Developmental/Project -- I will co-ordinate and edit a project from your proposal or rough manuscript to the final manuscript, incorporating input from you and others you nominate. Rate:  $40 per hour

2)  Rewriting --  I will create a new manuscript or parts of it based on content and research you supply. Rate: $40 per hour

3)  Copy Editing -- I'll give your manuscript  a thorough editing going-over by checking  grammar, usage, spelling, punctuation and other mechanics of style. Rate: $30 per hour.

4)   Editing Line by Line --  A  step up from copy editing. Is the writing clear and means what you have in mind? Does the material flow naturally?  I will add or delete content to answer these questions without sacrificing your intent, and with your agreement. I will assess your  story line, character development, dialogue, word usage and other important factors. Any changes are guaranteed to help make your manuscript flow and become a fascinating read.  Rates:  Light Edit:  $30 per hour/$5.25 a page; Moderate Edit: $ 35 per hour/$6.25 per page; Heavy Edit: $45 per page/ $10 per hour.

5. Proofreading --  It is virtually impossible to edit your own writing,  or proofread it, with an objective eye.  You've been too close to it. You need an unbiased second set of eyeballs to spot simple errors in punctuation, spelling, grammar, style and flow. In today's fast moving market, publishers no longer take time to clean up rough manuscripts. So out they go. Rate: $35 per hour/ $..015 per word.

Copywriting

Your copy should tell  a story in simple language,  be brief and to the point, touch the emotions, and contain some wit to capture the reader's interest. These are criteria I will look for in your copy,  and suggest how it could be improved. Rate: $45 per hour.

Manuscript Appraisal (Books, Articles, etc.)

Book publishers, magazines  and  newspapers don't have the time or the inclination to waste on manuscripts sloppy with spelling and grammatical errors and still worse, bad writing. To help you avoid these pitfalls, my manuscript evaluation service will answer these questions:
--   is the manuscript  good enough to be published?
--  what's wrong with it ,  and what to do about it?
--  what are the manuscript's strengths and flaws? 
--   am I  on the right track?
You'll receive a detailed critique of your manuscript from the first to the last page. My suggestions will help you strengthen your writing and make your work more accessible to publishers.  Rate: Books -- $50 (6-10,000 words, to $500(110-120,000 words).  Other manuscripts: $30 per hour

Background Info

25  years experience as a writer/editor:
--  newspaper, TV,  radio  and wire service journalism in Canada and England.
--  public relations, publicity and media relations(press releases, bios, info, etc.)
--  educational and documentary film scripts, dialogue and narration.
--  government and corporate speechwriting
--  author (Canada Council grant) 
--  book editor( "Vibrational Vitality" by Dr. Ronald Polack(Trafford, 2005)
--  catalogue  and insurance company copywriter.
--  musical theater composer and lyricist.

Contact Details

John Sims
jsims@lightspeed.ca
14 - 1962 West First Ave.
Vancouver, B.C. Canada   V6J 1G6
604-734-9847

Payment Method:  www.paypal.com

WORK SAMPLES

MAGAZINE and NEWSPAPER ARTICLES

ENGINEERING' AMBASSADOR - (excerpt)

   The smartly-dressed Alberta utility company executive fondled his gold tie pin and cufflinks while digesting the words of the diminutive Japanese-Canadian seated opposite him.
   It was the early 1960s and Vancouver chemical engineer Henry Wakabayashi was hustling the turbines and transmission line insulators manufactured by his Japanese employer,  giant Mitsubishi. It was not the best of times to flog goods from the land of the rising sun.
   "As far as I'm concerned," the utility man told Wakabayashi in a somewhat haughty tone, "I'm never going to buy any of that Japanese junk."
   Wakabayashi can today recall the incident with a chuckle and a dose of nostalgia now that he is master of his own house: president of Pacific Liaicon, located in a well-appointed suite of offices on the penthouse floor of swishy Park Place in downtown Vancouver.
   The company's specialty is matching Japanese money with B.C. projects. Once a client decides on a project, such as a pulp mill for example, Pacific Liaicon acts in the company's interest and often manages the project as well. Wakabayashi has been at it now for over 20 years, and with so much success that he could be regarded as an "engineering ambassador."  
   By 1964, Wakabayashi had scored his first big sale: $6 million worth of turbines to B.C. Hydro, which had cogitated for months before finally taking the gamble. It was a turning point for both Wakabayashi and for Japanese products which were soon to become recognized in North America as quality items.

SELLING WITH A SMILE - (excerpt)

A funny thing happened on the way to the 1983 recession: a trio of Calgary entrepreneurs with the princely sum of $1,500 between them got the idea to sell nuts in the workplace. The trio --president Jim Miller and vice-presidents Alan Jonas and Ernie Monaghan -- called their new enterprise The Nutman Co. Inc., and along with peanuts and cashews they bring lighthearted relief to the tension and tedium of their customers' workdays. Clutching rattan baskets heaped high with packages of fresh roasted nuts, they venture with cheery countenances to wherever people work -- office buildings, warehouses, garages, construction sites or anywhere a bag of nuts can be exchanged for the Queen's banknote. Their slogan: "Nuts to you."
   Employers normally frown on vendors in their offices and on job sites, but the bi-weekly arrival of the merry Nutman is eagerly awaited by both employees and brass. If it's close to Easter, he may arrive as an Easter bunny. If it's St. Patrick's Day, he might show up as a saucy leprechaun. For the brief period the Nutman is around, employees come out of their shells, so to speak, and allow themselves to be silly, usually at the Nutman's expense. "So long," says the Nutman on his way out the door, "see you next time."  But a giggling receptionist gets in the last barb: "Thanks for the warning.
   Promoting a business around jokes and tomfoolery is uncommon. The reason: fear that humor could be taken the wrong way and sink the product or even the corporate ship. The only wit evident in most corporations is in radio and TV commercials and print ads -- but rarely when a company deals directly with the public. And even when companies go for humor, they usually stop short of poking fun at themselves or their product.
   Ad agencies' cardinal rule of humor is to create funny commercials pertinent to the product. Says Marty Myers, executive vice-presient and creative director at Miller Myers Bruce Dalla Costa advertising agency in Toronto: "Humor must not be irrelevant or extraneous. It has to come out of what you're trying to say about the product." In other words, don't use humor for humor's sake, or the viewer might forget who is selling what. 
   Alan Kazmer, executive director of DDB Needham World Wide Advertising Ltd. in Toronto, says humorous advertising should be done with the greatest respect. "When it fails it's abysmal, he says. "A straight commercial may bore you a bit, but if people find a funny ad vulgar, the sponsor is in trouble." Kazmer circumvented a popular vulgarity with the print copy for the suppository Preparation H: "Hemorrhoids Are a Pain in the Neck."

DULL, DULL, DULL? - (excerpt)

   It's been a long-time tradition of universities throughout the land. Spot a bunch of whooping male students dressed in God-knows-what, guzzling copious quantities of suds, and chances are they're engineering students. Once out of university, however, the boys discard their Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde tendencies and virtually vanish into the grey, conservative engineering woodwork.
   The perception of full-grown, adult engineers, by and large, is that they are as dull as the proverbial dishwater.
   For instance, when was the last time watched TV to a see a tough, dashing engineer ride the city of unscrupulous developers or politicians? The other professionals get to be heroes. Silver-tongued lawyers win their cases and get the girl or boy. Steely-fingered doctors perform miraculous operations and get plaudits.  But what to engineers get? They get laid off when times go bad.
   "Actually," says John Montgomery, the executive director of H.A. Simons, the No. 1 engineering consulting firm in B.C., "engineers have such a low profile that people don't even think about them. I'm not sure it's a negative perception." He laughs. "It may actually be a lack of any perception."
   Montgomery agrees with the views of Maureen Gilchrist, regional manager for the Technical Services Council which places engineers in jobs. She said engineering students are weighed down with maths and sciences and have no room for anything else, such as humanities.
   Says Montgomery: "There's nothing in their training that teaches them about the niceties of life. A lot of the studies we took were repetitious year after year. So how do you strike a balance? An engineer could become warm and cuddly, but his bridge falls down."
   (It's an interesting perception which begs the question: does the bridge stay up because the engineers are not warm and cuddly, but frigid and dull?).

HOW HUMOR CAN SELL YOU - (excerpt)

   The professor listened to a colleague deliver a learned paper, then rushed home to jot down thoughts occupying his mind during the talk

The part is numb
On which I sit;
The rest of me
Now envies it.

   This ode perhaps describes the experience of many a listener praying the stage open up to swallow a speaker; he or she may have had interesting  information to impart but didn't deliver in a light, entertaining way.
   I survived one talk in which the speaker not once looked up from his text while citing sufficient dull statistics to plug a sewer. The incessant verbal drone continued without pause, without a smile, without relief.  By the end of his talk, more dozing heads rocked up and down than you'd find at a working seminar for chiropractors.
   Humor is the key ingredient in a speech. A light touch can turn a forgettable talk into a memorable one. It helps the audience remember what had been said. It holds listeners' attention and brings needed merriment to all. The best humor in a speech is friendly, personal and natural;  it doesn't need to produce robust guffaws. A few smiles and knowing chuckles gets the job done.  Humor is  refreshment.  No matter how riveting you or your topic may be, it is sheer work for your listeners. Give them a snippet of humor as a tonic and reward. Take the advice of actor Paul Soles: "He who laughs...lasts."
   Humor relaxes your audience. It's also an excellent vehicle for making a point. Abraham Lincoln was a master at it. He said he used humor not only to make people laugh, but to illustrate his point. One sure-fire method to get your audience on your side is to poke fun at yourself.  When former U.S. astronaut John Glen gave a talk in Washington, D.C. he mocked his reputation for being dull. "I am not dull," he pointed out. "Boring, maybe, but not dull."

ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT OR RESOURCE SELL-OFF? - (excerpt)

   Like it or not, the rapidly expanding Alberta pulp and paper industry is dutifully accepting the province's tough environmental standards. But neither the mill operators nor the provincial government are absolutely certain northern Alberta's major river systems -- the Peace and the Athabasca -- can adequately absorb water from all the new mills coming on stream.
   There is no doubt in the minds of politicians or environmentalists that companies are sincerely trying to build clean mills with the latest anti-pollution technology. Nor are the two existing mills lagging behind; they have been ordered to clean up their acts -- or else.
   The province, then, has laid down the law in simple language. But environmentalists, while welcoming new jobs, complain that development is moving too fast. They also call for nor environmental impact studies in addition to those already conducted by the province and  mills themselves.
  Says the government in no uncertain terms: "If mills don't meet environmental standards and there is risk to the river, and can't be ameliorated through environmental technology, they won't get a license to construct."
   The prospective Alberta-Pacific mill is under attack because it would be the fourth and largest operation to dump effluent into the Athabasca River. And opposition from environmentalists has increased since last summer's provincial study said the river was dangerously close to being overloaded with pulp effluent.

COPY  for a mortgage company brochure

We know the territory, mortgage-wise

We're fresh. We're feisty. We're flexible

We're non-conventional, like our mortgages

We bend backwards to finance residential mortgages turned down by banks

Banks hardly bend

Private and B lenders can bend, but their territory is often inconsistent and unreliable

Tread carefully

Finance and loan companies are usually the last resort for mortgage money

They're expensive territory

We intend to out-perform the private and B lenders because we're more reliable

Swift service. Fair rates

We look to the rising tide of self-employed customers. Banks look the other way

They don't like the territory

Our mortgages cost less because we hike our debt service-ratios when incomes don't keep pace with rising home prices

We're partnered with a large U.S. bank with deep pockets.  No lint, just money

Check out our territory

SPEECHES

HON. JACK RIDDEL, Minister of Agriculture and Food, Government of Ontario - (excerpt)

I like the idea of a stand-up media conference out here in the fresh country air.
   First of all, it keeps me on my toes.
   Secondly, being here on the farm helps to remind us of Ontario's agricultural roots. As you know, I have an agricultural background, so I'm an old farmer at heart.
   Many people are surprise to hear that agriculture is Ontario's second largest industry -- after auto manufacturing. It's a business that means $5 billion to Ontario farmers, and another $15 billion to food processors and food-related industries.
   But still, many of those Ontario farmers supplying us with food are just one step ahead of the bailiff. Many of them have creditors ready to pounce when times are tough.
   I personally don't like to see this happening, and neither do my colleagues in government. So we've worked at doing something about it since Day One at Queen's Park.
   Since the Liberal administration took office two years ago, the budget for agriculture has been increased by 72 per cent. Let me repeat that: 72 per cent.
  Two months age we brought down our third budget since taking office. It was also the third time we boosted spending on agriculture.
   This budget consists of five major agricultural initiatives to put $563 million worth of grants to improve farm management, and the safety and efficiency of Ontario farms.
   One of these initiatives in the Ontario Farm Management, Safety and Repairs Program --$50 million worth of grants to improve farm management and the safety and efficiency of Ontario farms.
   That's why I'm here today -- to introduce the program to you. And what better place to introduce a farming program than on a farm.
   You'll be glad to hear that I'm going to be brief. I don't intend to go into every last detail of the program, or we'd be here until the cows come home.
   The details of this new program are contained in our media kits, so I won't waste your time repeating them........

BC RAIL EXECUTIVES - (excerpt)

   What I'd like to do today is invite you all on a rail journey. First, we'll travel into the past. Then into the present. And finally, into the future.
   I had thought of inviting Burnaby actor Michael J. Fox to make this trip with you. But he's already been Back To The Future,
   Let's start in 1793. No. we didn't have a railroad then. but it was the year that explorer Alexander Mackenzie set eyes on the coast of British Columbia -- the first white face to do so.  His arrival gave birth to the economic and commercial development of this province.
   About 50 years later -- in 1849 -- a man by the name of William Gilpin had a grand idea. He proposed that a railroad be built through British Columbia's Rocky Mountain trench to the very edge of the Bering Strait, way up north. He hoped the route would form part of a rail transport system to link Asia, Europe and Atlantic shipping routes.
   However, residents along the Bering Strait are still waiting.
   Gilpin's idea was classic turn-of-the-century big thinking at a time when huge amounts of investment capital were available in London, the heart of the British Empire.
   It was a time when railways around the world were a license to print money.  
   And when the Lower Mainland started to grow by leaps and bounds, there was heightened interest by private investors to build a railway into the heart of the province. Such a railroad would then bring prosperity to everyone along the route. Or so they said.
   So in February of 1912, the Pacific Great Eastern Railway was incorporated and mandated to build a line from Vancouver to Prince George. It was a railway born in the midst of high hopes and pure reckless optimism.
   On January 1st, 1914, the first train chugged out of Lonsdale in the midst of great pomp and puff and ceremony. The destination was only Dundarave. Still, it was an historic moment for people to cheer about.
   Next day there was another historic moment -- the first derailment. The train went off the tracks at Ambleside. This prompted some people to rename the railway -- the Puff, Grunt and Expire.
   Four years later, in 1918, there were three major events. World War One ended...the boom went bust in the Lower Mainland...and so did the PGE.
   The railroad was down but not out. In stepped the provincial government of the day like a knight errant snatching a maiden from a fate worse than you-know-what.
  The government not only got a railroad, it got a political headache, too. Was it possible to to keep the railway alive in the face of monumental construction costs? They would soon find out.......

VERSE (honoring retiring lumber baron)

There are wild things done in the Prince George sun
     by a friend we know of as Jim;
He's a quiet guy, very sober and shy
     who knows liquor and golf are a sin.  
He's a Timber King where the buzz saws sing
      and the chips fly wherever they will,
And he's whispered to me
      that the only "good" tree
      is the one headed straight for his mill.
 

FILM SCRIPT - "New Steppes" (in process)

1. PANORAMIC VIEW OF THE EMPTY 1895 PRAIRIES IN
WESTERN CANADA, DEVOID OF SETTLEMENTS, FOLLOWED BY
STILLS OF 1895-ERA CITIES AND FARMS.
                    NARRATOR
The Canadian prairies of 1895. Virtually empty
except for pockets of civilization in and around the
tiny cities of of Winnipeg...Calgary...Edmonton.
Farms there are, but the numbers are embarrassing.
Thousands upon thousand of virgin acres waiting for
the plow.

2. EXT. PARLIAMENT BUILDINGS, SPRING,1895
                      NARRATOR
In the nation's capital, there is only a
half-hearted attempt to fill the prairies with
people. Free homesteads are going begging.
 

3. PHOTO OF PRIME MINISTER BOWELL
                        NARRATOR
The prime minister is Mackenzie Bowell. This is
unfortunate. He is a man with little imagination and
less drive.
 

4. INT. PARLIAMENT CORRIDOR, DAY, 1895
We move towards an office bearing the inscription:
L.M.Fortier, Superintendant of Immigration.
                          NARRATOR
On April l4 of that year, Superintendant Fortier's
Immigration Department is roused into action.
 

5. INT. FORTIER'S OFFICE, DAY, 1895
Fortier is seated at his desk, his back to the large
window offering a view of the receding snow on
Parliament Hill. His male secretary is reading a
letter which little by little rouses Fortier's
interest, and he rises and paces about the room.
                        SECRETARY
                            (reading letter)
Our destitute farmers in the Western Ukraine want to
leave their native country because too many people
occupy too little farming land. And they pay too
much in taxes for the privilege.
 

6. UKRAINIAN VILLAGES, OCCUPANTS,1890'S
                         SECRETARY (V0)
There is only one solution......

                        FORTIER
                              (cutting in)
Excuse me, Henri....HE IS EXAMING A WORLD GLOBE IN
ONE CORNER OF THE ROOM...but where in the devil is
the Western Ukraine?
                             
                         SECRETARY
I..er..I would think somewhere overseas.
                                
                         FORTIER
You're a lot of help, Henri! Wait a minute, I think
I've found it,, just above the Black Sea. Go on
Henri with the letter.
                                
                             SECRETARY(V0)                                                        
Yes, sir. (reads) There is only one solution to
their dilemma, and that is to abandon their
homeland. On their behalf I am writing for details
about the new land across the sea.......

 

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