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Editing (Books, Articles, Stories, etc.)
1) Developmental/Project -- I will co-ordinate and edit a project
from your proposal or rough manuscript to the final manuscript,
incorporating input from you and others you nominate. Rate: $40 per hour
2) Rewriting -- I will create a new manuscript or parts of it
based on content and research you supply. Rate: $40 per hour
3) Copy Editing -- I'll give your manuscript a thorough editing
going-over by checking grammar, usage, spelling, punctuation and other
mechanics of style. Rate: $30 per hour.
4) Editing Line by Line -- A step up from copy editing. Is the
writing clear and means what you have in mind? Does the material flow
naturally? I will add or delete content to answer these questions without
sacrificing your intent, and with your agreement. I will assess your story
line, character development, dialogue, word usage and other important
factors. Any changes are guaranteed to help make your manuscript flow and
become a fascinating read. Rates: Light Edit: $30 per hour/$5.25 a page;
Moderate Edit: $ 35 per hour/$6.25 per page; Heavy Edit: $45 per page/ $10
per hour.
5. Proofreading -- It is virtually impossible to edit your own
writing, or proofread it, with an objective eye. You've been too close to
it. You need an unbiased second set of eyeballs to spot simple errors in
punctuation, spelling, grammar, style and flow. In today's fast moving
market, publishers no longer take time to clean up rough manuscripts. So out
they go. Rate: $35 per hour/ $..015 per word.
Copywriting
Your copy should tell a story in simple language, be brief and to the
point, touch the emotions, and contain some wit to capture the reader's
interest. These are criteria I will look for in your copy, and suggest how
it could be improved. Rate: $45 per hour.
Manuscript Appraisal (Books, Articles, etc.)
Book publishers, magazines and newspapers don't have the time or the
inclination to waste on manuscripts sloppy with spelling and grammatical
errors and still worse, bad writing. To help you avoid these pitfalls, my
manuscript evaluation service will answer these questions:
-- is the manuscript good enough to be published?
-- what's wrong with it , and what to do about it?
-- what are the manuscript's strengths and flaws?
-- am I on the right track?
You'll receive a detailed critique of your manuscript from the first to the
last page. My suggestions will help you strengthen your writing and make
your work more accessible to publishers. Rate: Books -- $50 (6-10,000
words, to $500(110-120,000 words). Other manuscripts: $30 per hour
Background Info
25 years experience as a writer/editor:
-- newspaper, TV, radio and wire service journalism in Canada and
England.
-- public relations, publicity and media relations(press releases, bios,
info, etc.)
-- educational and documentary film scripts, dialogue and narration.
-- government and corporate speechwriting
-- author (Canada Council grant)
-- book editor( "Vibrational Vitality" by Dr. Ronald Polack(Trafford, 2005)
-- catalogue and insurance company copywriter.
-- musical theater composer and lyricist.
Contact Details
John Sims
jsims@lightspeed.ca
14 - 1962 West First Ave.
Vancouver, B.C. Canada V6J 1G6
604-734-9847
Payment Method: www.paypal.com
WORK SAMPLES
MAGAZINE and NEWSPAPER ARTICLES
ENGINEERING' AMBASSADOR - (excerpt)
The smartly-dressed Alberta utility company executive fondled his gold
tie pin and cufflinks while digesting the words of the diminutive
Japanese-Canadian seated opposite him.
It was the early 1960s and Vancouver chemical engineer Henry Wakabayashi
was hustling the turbines and transmission line insulators manufactured by
his Japanese employer, giant Mitsubishi. It was not the best of times to
flog goods from the land of the rising sun.
"As far as I'm concerned," the utility man told Wakabayashi in a somewhat
haughty tone, "I'm never going to buy any of that Japanese junk."
Wakabayashi can today recall the incident with a chuckle and a dose of
nostalgia now that he is master of his own house: president of Pacific
Liaicon, located in a well-appointed suite of offices on the penthouse floor
of swishy Park Place in downtown Vancouver.
The company's specialty is matching Japanese money with B.C. projects.
Once a client decides on a project, such as a pulp mill for example, Pacific
Liaicon acts in the company's interest and often manages the project as
well. Wakabayashi has been at it now for over 20 years, and with so much
success that he could be regarded as an "engineering ambassador."
By 1964, Wakabayashi had scored his first big sale: $6 million worth of
turbines to B.C. Hydro, which had cogitated for months before finally taking
the gamble. It was a turning point for both Wakabayashi and for Japanese
products which were soon to become recognized in North America as quality
items.
SELLING WITH A SMILE - (excerpt)
A funny thing happened on the way to the 1983 recession: a trio of
Calgary entrepreneurs with the princely sum of $1,500 between them got the
idea to sell nuts in the workplace. The trio --president Jim Miller and
vice-presidents Alan Jonas and Ernie Monaghan -- called their new enterprise
The Nutman Co. Inc., and along with peanuts and cashews they bring
lighthearted relief to the tension and tedium of their customers' workdays.
Clutching rattan baskets heaped high with packages of fresh roasted nuts,
they venture with cheery countenances to wherever people work -- office
buildings, warehouses, garages, construction sites or anywhere a bag of nuts
can be exchanged for the Queen's banknote. Their slogan: "Nuts to you."
Employers normally frown on vendors in their offices and on job sites,
but the bi-weekly arrival of the merry Nutman is eagerly awaited by both
employees and brass. If it's close to Easter, he may arrive as an Easter
bunny. If it's St. Patrick's Day, he might show up as a saucy leprechaun.
For the brief period the Nutman is around, employees come out of their
shells, so to speak, and allow themselves to be silly, usually at the
Nutman's expense. "So long," says the Nutman on his way out the door, "see
you next time." But a giggling receptionist gets in the last barb: "Thanks
for the warning.
Promoting a business around jokes and tomfoolery is uncommon. The reason:
fear that humor could be taken the wrong way and sink the product or even
the corporate ship. The only wit evident in most corporations is in radio
and TV commercials and print ads -- but rarely when a company deals directly
with the public. And even when companies go for humor, they usually stop
short of poking fun at themselves or their product.
Ad agencies' cardinal rule of humor is to create funny commercials
pertinent to the product. Says Marty Myers, executive vice-presient and
creative director at Miller Myers Bruce Dalla Costa advertising agency in
Toronto: "Humor must not be irrelevant or extraneous. It has to come out of
what you're trying to say about the product." In other words, don't use
humor for humor's sake, or the viewer might forget who is selling what.
Alan Kazmer, executive director of DDB Needham World Wide Advertising
Ltd. in Toronto, says humorous advertising should be done with the greatest
respect. "When it fails it's abysmal, he says. "A straight commercial may
bore you a bit, but if people find a funny ad vulgar, the sponsor is in
trouble." Kazmer circumvented a popular vulgarity with the print copy for
the suppository Preparation H: "Hemorrhoids Are a Pain in the Neck."
DULL, DULL, DULL? - (excerpt)
It's been a long-time tradition of universities throughout the land.
Spot a bunch of whooping male students dressed in God-knows-what, guzzling
copious quantities of suds, and chances are they're engineering students.
Once out of university, however, the boys discard their Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde
tendencies and virtually vanish into the grey, conservative engineering
woodwork.
The perception of full-grown, adult engineers, by and large, is that they
are as dull as the proverbial dishwater.
For instance, when was the last time watched TV to a see a tough, dashing
engineer ride the city of unscrupulous developers or politicians? The other
professionals get to be heroes. Silver-tongued lawyers win their cases and
get the girl or boy. Steely-fingered doctors perform miraculous operations
and get plaudits. But what to engineers get? They get laid off when times
go bad.
"Actually," says John Montgomery, the executive director of H.A. Simons,
the No. 1 engineering consulting firm in B.C., "engineers have such a low
profile that people don't even think about them. I'm not sure it's a
negative perception." He laughs. "It may actually be a lack of any
perception."
Montgomery agrees with the views of Maureen Gilchrist, regional manager
for the Technical Services Council which places engineers in jobs. She said
engineering students are weighed down with maths and sciences and have no
room for anything else, such as humanities.
Says Montgomery: "There's nothing in their training that teaches them
about the niceties of life. A lot of the studies we took were repetitious
year after year. So how do you strike a balance? An engineer could become
warm and cuddly, but his bridge falls down."
(It's an interesting perception which begs the question: does the bridge
stay up because the engineers are not warm and cuddly, but frigid and
dull?).
HOW HUMOR CAN SELL YOU - (excerpt)
The professor listened to a colleague deliver a learned paper, then
rushed home to jot down thoughts occupying his mind during the talk
The part is numb
On which I sit;
The rest of me
Now envies it.
This ode perhaps describes the experience of many a listener praying the
stage open up to swallow a speaker; he or she may have had interesting
information to impart but didn't deliver in a light, entertaining way.
I survived one talk in which the speaker not once looked up from his text
while citing sufficient dull statistics to plug a sewer. The incessant
verbal drone continued without pause, without a smile, without relief. By
the end of his talk, more dozing heads rocked up and down than you'd find at
a working seminar for chiropractors.
Humor is the key ingredient in a speech. A light touch can turn a
forgettable talk into a memorable one. It helps the audience remember what
had been said. It holds listeners' attention and brings needed merriment to
all. The best humor in a speech is friendly, personal and natural; it
doesn't need to produce robust guffaws. A few smiles and knowing chuckles
gets the job done. Humor is refreshment. No matter how riveting you or
your topic may be, it is sheer work for your listeners. Give them a snippet
of humor as a tonic and reward. Take the advice of actor Paul Soles: "He who
laughs...lasts."
Humor relaxes your audience. It's also an excellent vehicle for making a
point. Abraham Lincoln was a master at it. He said he used humor not only to
make people laugh, but to illustrate his point. One sure-fire method to get
your audience on your side is to poke fun at yourself. When former U.S.
astronaut John Glen gave a talk in Washington, D.C. he mocked his reputation
for being dull. "I am not dull," he pointed out. "Boring, maybe, but not
dull."
ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT OR RESOURCE SELL-OFF? - (excerpt)
Like it or not, the rapidly expanding Alberta pulp and paper industry
is dutifully accepting the province's tough environmental standards. But
neither the mill operators nor the provincial government are absolutely
certain northern Alberta's major river systems -- the Peace and the
Athabasca -- can adequately absorb water from all the new mills coming on
stream.
There is no doubt in the minds of politicians or environmentalists that
companies are sincerely trying to build clean mills with the latest
anti-pollution technology. Nor are the two existing mills lagging behind;
they have been ordered to clean up their acts -- or else.
The province, then, has laid down the law in simple language. But
environmentalists, while welcoming new jobs, complain that development is
moving too fast. They also call for nor environmental impact studies in
addition to those already conducted by the province and mills themselves.
Says the government in no uncertain terms: "If mills don't meet
environmental standards and there is risk to the river, and can't be
ameliorated through environmental technology, they won't get a license to
construct."
The prospective Alberta-Pacific mill is under attack because it would be
the fourth and largest operation to dump effluent into the Athabasca River.
And opposition from environmentalists has increased since last summer's
provincial study said the river was dangerously close to being overloaded
with pulp effluent.
COPY for a mortgage company brochure
We know the territory, mortgage-wise
We're fresh. We're feisty. We're flexible
We're non-conventional, like our mortgages
We bend backwards to finance residential mortgages turned down by banks
Banks hardly bend
Private and B lenders can bend, but their territory is often inconsistent
and unreliable
Tread carefully
Finance and loan companies are usually the last resort for mortgage money
They're expensive territory
We intend to out-perform the private and B lenders because we're more
reliable
Swift service. Fair rates
We look to the rising tide of self-employed customers. Banks look the other
way
They don't like the territory
Our mortgages cost less because we hike our debt service-ratios when incomes
don't keep pace with rising home prices
We're partnered with a large U.S. bank with deep pockets. No lint, just
money
Check out our territory
SPEECHES
HON. JACK RIDDEL, Minister of Agriculture and Food, Government of
Ontario - (excerpt)
I like the idea of a stand-up media conference out here in the fresh
country air.
First of all, it keeps me on my toes.
Secondly, being here on the farm helps to remind us of Ontario's
agricultural roots. As you know, I have an agricultural background, so I'm
an old farmer at heart.
Many people are surprise to hear that agriculture is Ontario's second
largest industry -- after auto manufacturing. It's a business that means $5
billion to Ontario farmers, and another $15 billion to food processors and
food-related industries.
But still, many of those Ontario farmers supplying us with food are just
one step ahead of the bailiff. Many of them have creditors ready to pounce
when times are tough.
I personally don't like to see this happening, and neither do my
colleagues in government. So we've worked at doing something about it since
Day One at Queen's Park.
Since the Liberal administration took office two years ago, the budget
for agriculture has been increased by 72 per cent. Let me repeat that: 72
per cent.
Two months age we brought down our third budget since taking office. It
was also the third time we boosted spending on agriculture.
This budget consists of five major agricultural initiatives to put $563
million worth of grants to improve farm management, and the safety and
efficiency of Ontario farms.
One of these initiatives in the Ontario Farm Management, Safety and
Repairs Program --$50 million worth of grants to improve farm management and
the safety and efficiency of Ontario farms.
That's why I'm here today -- to introduce the program to you. And what
better place to introduce a farming program than on a farm.
You'll be glad to hear that I'm going to be brief. I don't intend to go
into every last detail of the program, or we'd be here until the cows come
home.
The details of this new program are contained in our media kits, so I
won't waste your time repeating them........
BC RAIL EXECUTIVES - (excerpt)
What I'd like to do today is invite you all on a rail journey. First,
we'll travel into the past. Then into the present. And finally, into the
future.
I had thought of inviting Burnaby actor Michael J. Fox to make this trip
with you. But he's already been Back To The Future,
Let's start in 1793. No. we didn't have a railroad then. but it was the
year that explorer Alexander Mackenzie set eyes on the coast of British
Columbia -- the first white face to do so. His arrival gave birth to the
economic and commercial development of this province.
About 50 years later -- in 1849 -- a man by the name of William Gilpin
had a grand idea. He proposed that a railroad be built through British
Columbia's Rocky Mountain trench to the very edge of the Bering Strait, way
up north. He hoped the route would form part of a rail transport system to
link Asia, Europe and Atlantic shipping routes.
However, residents along the Bering Strait are still waiting.
Gilpin's idea was classic turn-of-the-century big thinking at a time when
huge amounts of investment capital were available in London, the heart of
the British Empire.
It was a time when railways around the world were a license to print
money.
And when the Lower Mainland started to grow by leaps and bounds, there
was heightened interest by private investors to build a railway into the
heart of the province. Such a railroad would then bring prosperity to
everyone along the route. Or so they said.
So in February of 1912, the Pacific Great Eastern Railway was
incorporated and mandated to build a line from Vancouver to Prince George.
It was a railway born in the midst of high hopes and pure reckless optimism.
On January 1st, 1914, the first train chugged out of Lonsdale in the
midst of great pomp and puff and ceremony. The destination was only
Dundarave. Still, it was an historic moment for people to cheer about.
Next day there was another historic moment -- the first derailment. The
train went off the tracks at Ambleside. This prompted some people to rename
the railway -- the Puff, Grunt and Expire.
Four years later, in 1918, there were three major events. World War One
ended...the boom went bust in the Lower Mainland...and so did the PGE.
The railroad was down but not out. In stepped the provincial government
of the day like a knight errant snatching a maiden from a fate worse than
you-know-what.
The government not only got a railroad, it got a political headache, too.
Was it possible to to keep the railway alive in the face of monumental
construction costs? They would soon find out.......
VERSE (honoring retiring lumber baron)
There are wild things done in the Prince George sun
by a friend we know of as Jim;
He's a quiet guy, very sober and shy
who knows liquor and golf are a sin.
He's a Timber King where the buzz saws sing
and the chips fly wherever they will,
And he's whispered to me
that the only "good" tree
is the one headed straight for his mill.
FILM SCRIPT - "New Steppes" (in process)
1. PANORAMIC VIEW OF THE EMPTY 1895 PRAIRIES IN
WESTERN CANADA, DEVOID OF SETTLEMENTS, FOLLOWED BY
STILLS OF 1895-ERA CITIES AND FARMS.
NARRATOR
The Canadian prairies of 1895. Virtually empty
except for pockets of civilization in and around the
tiny cities of of Winnipeg...Calgary...Edmonton.
Farms there are, but the numbers are embarrassing.
Thousands upon thousand of virgin acres waiting for
the plow.
2. EXT. PARLIAMENT BUILDINGS, SPRING,1895
NARRATOR
In the nation's capital, there is only a
half-hearted attempt to fill the prairies with
people. Free homesteads are going begging.
3. PHOTO OF PRIME MINISTER BOWELL
NARRATOR
The prime minister is Mackenzie Bowell. This is
unfortunate. He is a man with little imagination and
less drive.
4. INT. PARLIAMENT CORRIDOR, DAY, 1895
We move towards an office bearing the inscription:
L.M.Fortier, Superintendant of Immigration.
NARRATOR
On April l4 of that year, Superintendant Fortier's
Immigration Department is roused into action.
5. INT. FORTIER'S OFFICE, DAY, 1895
Fortier is seated at his desk, his back to the large
window offering a view of the receding snow on
Parliament Hill. His male secretary is reading a
letter which little by little rouses Fortier's
interest, and he rises and paces about the room.
SECRETARY
(reading letter)
Our destitute farmers in the Western Ukraine want to
leave their native country because too many people
occupy too little farming land. And they pay too
much in taxes for the privilege.
6. UKRAINIAN VILLAGES, OCCUPANTS,1890'S
SECRETARY (V0)
There is only one solution......
FORTIER
(cutting in)
Excuse me, Henri....HE IS EXAMING A WORLD GLOBE IN
ONE CORNER OF THE ROOM...but where in the devil is
the Western Ukraine?
SECRETARY
I..er..I would think somewhere overseas.
FORTIER
You're a lot of help, Henri! Wait a minute, I think
I've found it,, just above the Black Sea. Go on
Henri with the letter.
SECRETARY(V0)
Yes, sir. (reads) There is only one solution to
their dilemma, and that is to abandon their
homeland. On their behalf I am writing for details
about the new land across the sea.......
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